Dave Kean

@EmmaK67: Watching England is a cure for constipation.

@sniffpetrol

Dear trees, My car makes the CO2 that helps you to breath. And how do you repay it? By LEAKING SAP onto the paintwork again. You bastards.

It’s Sniff Petrol once again, but quality is quality. I’m not sure how much of a secret it is who is behind Sniffpetrol.com, but loved this one.

@sniffpetrol

Reporter: ‘Sebastian, can you explain how you massively fucked up?”

After Sebastian Vettel managed to have an accident with his team mate and throwing away a 1-2 for Red Bull at the Turkish GP. Lewis Hamilton and Jenson Button moved up and gave McLaren an unexpected win.

Vettel was trying to take team mate Mark Weber in the inside, Weber (as is his right) held his line and Vettel seems to loose control and moved into Webers car. Weber had enough time in hand that he was able to pit for a new nosecone and tires and finished third ahead of Schumacher.

Hamilton was just behind the Red Bull pair and said “It was fantastic. I got the best view of it! Sebastian is safe, but I just saw him go up the inside… It was unfortunate for them and fortunate for us.”

A post General election tweet that sums up the situation rather well.

@itschrissmith: The British People have spoken. Unfortunately what they said was “errrrm.” #ukelection2010

From new Member of Parliament Robert Halfon (@halfon4harlow):

“Just been hugged by Eric Pickles and called comrade. Now to work”

Big first day in the House of Commons, how do you top that tomorrow?

Telegraph journalist Jon Swaine tweets:

“Gordon Brown exacts final revenge on newspaper detractors by dropping most complicated bombshell in political history at 17.05”

I’m guessing most journalists are off home (or to the pub) at 5 after turning in the copy for tomorrows papers. Going to be a long night for writers and editors tonight.