Yesterday I spent a lot of time with friends. A little time sitting on the beach and a quiet drink, followed by nap (which came after day-2, I’m really appreciating naps again) and then an evening sitting on the deck with friends drinking chocolate Martinis, explaining cricket, looking at CAT scans, deciding who is getting what, joking about work, telling rally stories and generally laughing my ass off.
It got pretty dark at times and it is a very different type of therapy, but damned effective last night.
Tracy get’s the Miata, she asked first. Carey gets the tools, he desperately needs some level of organization to his garage. Mindy gets to spread some of my ashes on my favourite rally stages, a little on Pikes Peak on the open hairpin bellow the W’s and a little more on the E-town stage in Maine, specifically on the “R4/C> !TREE OUTSIDE” (she was clear she needs some explicit instructions on the where). Mathew has first pick of my prints and on it went…
Yeah it was jet-black humour at times, but by fuck it was effective to know I have friends who know me well enough and were willing to go there. Being more of a quiet, sober observer last night perhaps made it even more effective.
And if the unsteady stagger to the car in heels was anything to go by (which got an ovation from those of us watching from the house, it was that impressive) at least one person will be keeping her husband awake tonight driving the porcelain bus.
Monday morning started way too early, as Mondays tend to do, with a drive to Vancouver to catch a direct flight to Toronto. The drive was almost spot on two hours and other than the early start a breeze. But in return for dragging my arse out of bed at 3:15 I was rewarded with a just magnificent sunrise over the Cascades.
The northwest really is a beautiful part of the world.
I sat in a restaurant in Vancouver Airport getting breakfast and the TV is on. The Canucks are playing for the Stanley cup and are up 2-0 in a best of 7 series with two narrow wins at home.
Game 3 is in Boston tonight and it seems like everyone who works in the airport is wearing a Canucks shirt or hat, all the screens in the airport have a “Go Canucks Go” ticker across the bottom
The first 15 minutes of the local news bulletins are about the Canucks, and even the local news is broadcasting from Boston today. This is a big deal, and it should be.
I digress and once again my narrative is non-linier (see I’m a writer, maybe not a good one, but I understand enough to recognise a non-linier narrative and yes the book is starting to get a little shape to it, thank you for asking).
As I was driving north this morning, just as the sun was peeking over the Cascades I suddenly felt absolutely over whelmed by what’s going on. I thought of my family in England, my just amazing friends.
A year or so ago my ex went into one of her monologues about how bad a person I was, how lonely and how sad my life was. I remember her saying that I will talk about my friends, but really I’m alone and sad. Classic ex for those who know her, making herself feel better by putting down those around her.
Something this morning reminded me of that lecture. Yes there is the irony is that as she is becoming more and more isolated as the year goes on, but that’s another discussion. Over the last year I seen time and time again that I have so many friends, some incredible friendships. I say this not to prove her wrong, as I stopped caring a long time ago, but because these people have always been a huge part of my life and there were times I let that get away from me a little.
I really do feel thankful for my incredible family and my friends that make up my surrogate family in the US. Thank you, no matter if you live in Washington, Vermont, Oregon, California or where ever, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
These are people that I believe in and in return believe in me.
I just started crying, I could not hold it in and had to pull over for a few minutes. The emotions were not of feeling sorry for myself, but being thankful for the richness of my life today. That I have so many people who get me and are willing to bring the discussions down to my level.
The support I’ve had over the last three years, especially over the last 5 days has been overwhelming and this morning the emotions got the better of me and all of a sudden it needed to come out. And it did while sitting on an exit ramp just south of Bellingham.
So to Tracy, Alex, Carey, Mathew, JB, Min, Rebecca, Mike, Carl, Bill, William, Roger, Kim, Tom, Deb, Kat, Andrew, Chris, Anna-Marie, Stephen, Bob, Rob, Rob, Rob and the rest of you, thank you so very, very much. Know the calls, the emails, your time and most importantly friendship is all greatly, greatly appreciated.
I have the richest and most wonderful life, and I appreciate that.