In the slightly bigger picture, over the last couple of months I’ve received a number of comments to this blog, always posted anonymously under the same name “davehasnofriends”. There is no such thing as anonymous on the Internet and the trail of breadcrumbs is not hard to follow to its source (Google Analytics is awesome).
The most “voracious” of the anonymous posters is Jeanette Higgins who currently lives in Portland (but has sent messages from Peoria, AZ and Veradale, WA too) and visits this blog at least 4 times a week, sometimes daily. It’s interesting that a woman who is “looking out for others” feels the best way to do that is accuse me of abusing kids. She is supposed to be a mandatory reporter, which means that if she suspects any abuse she is required to report it to CPS, she has not done that. If she feels it’s true there is a significant breach of professional ethics. If it’s not true then it’s slander.
Which for someone who wants to get her license to practice in Washington State is not a good move.
When I called out the “fat ugly troll last” last week it was her I was responding too. For what ever reason she is claiming to be a friend of, and is doing this to help my ex.
I spent a little time today with my lawyer, and she is not. This fits the Washington State definition of harassment very well, additionally because there can be only one source of the information that puts my ex in a clear contempt of court as there is a confidentially agreement that’s been broken here.
Ultimately I need to clear myself of the accusations leveled by Ms. Higgins. Years ago I was accused by my stepdaughter of “throwing her against the wall”, she complained of a sore and stiff neck and that I’d hurt her. The father was picking her up that morning and did not believe her, there were no marks and her neck was fine, this was demonstrated by him throwing his keys on the ground and her aledgedly stiff neck was just fine when she turned around to see what had happened. Her mother felt the same way, the family therapist was clear that he had no doubt it did not happen.
Let me be totally clear, I did not do what I was accused of.
When we started living together this really was my worst case. I was put in a role of spending a lot of time with the kids, over a two year period I spent more time with them than either of their parents (it pisses my ex off when I say that, but it’s true and she has admitted to that and apologized for it). This was my biggest worry, I think most stepparents feel the same way, it’s covered heavily in most of the books on the subject. For a stepparent it really is the doomsday scenario and was a soul destroying thing to live through. I was at work when I got a call from my ex explaining what had been claimed and that no one thought there was any truth to the accusation that I’d hurt the kid. I’ve never felt a jolt like I did in that moment (and I’m including rolling a race car at speed). It was devastating, the thing I was told would not happen had.
Yet some how, years later it’s come up again to be used against me. A I said the information can only have come from one source. Jeanette Higgins felt it OK to throw it at me. She is PO’ed with me for a good reason. But as retaliation to bring someone children into this? That’s lower than anything I’ve ever done. On top of that to claim she is doing it to help others, really? I’d like to know how.
Here are a few examples of the comments I’ve received
“Everyone is better off without fucks like you in their house” “It’s so sad how you get your rocks off abusing 10 year olds” “Really you have to compete with 10 year olds?” “You are a sad fuck and you will meet a sad end” “You have no house, no home get out and leave the country”A lot of the information used in these is inaccurate, but can only have come from one source, my ex. When I asked her about it she said a couple of interesting things (and I have all this in an e-mail or recorded if she wants to dispute). First was admitting she knew who was behind it (duh…). Secondly that the information never came from her, it’s got nothing to do with her and completely washed her hands of it. The claim of it being nothing to do with her and selling Jeanette down the river was despite claims this was being done on her behalf.
When we spoke a couple of weeks ago she was very clear once again it had nothing to do with her, and said it while we were talking about something totally different. Legally that’s not 100% true, but someone has accused me of abusing my former stepdaughters my lawyer and I don’t feel we have any choice but to clear my name.
Jeanette Higgins is not the only one who has sent these, but she has sent the more vicious ones that I will deal with first.
The last few months have been a life changing experience for me, one again I stand behind every word of what I’ve had to say today.
3 Comments
It’s a tough thing that you are going through, being a stepparent is one of the toughest jobs in the world. It’s an unrecognized and unappreciated job. You are expected to play your part but unless it’s prepared correctly you play that part with little authority. I’m sorry it did not work out for you and ended up with the accusations. I get how lucky I am to have incredible support from my wife and we are slowly building the relationship with each others children.
Check your email for more.
Dave, you are right to be doing this. Others enjoy the drama and living vicariously though “friends”. Even as you did wrong, others bringing children into this is not worthy.
Life can throw you curveballs like this, you are going through a tough time, but just think how much better life will be when you come out the other side.